Triggers, Communication, and the Notorious Stepmom Stigma- A Collaborative Conversation

Click here to check out my conversation with Divorce Coach, Sharleen Beaumont where we discuss managing triggers, modeling healthy communication, and the notorious stepmom stigma.

Shift It. Shift It Real Good. Taking Negative Energy and Shifting It.

Have you ever thought about the kind of partner and stepmom you are and the kind of energy you give off?

The stepmoms I work with feel they waste precious energy on worry, anxiety, and negative thoughts and that their thoughts can become obsessive and all consuming at times.

Obsessive thoughts can cause you to feel unhappy, angry, or just unsettled. Oftentimes the things you worry about the most, are the least important things in your life. This energy then leaks into your relationships.

If you repeat scenarios over and over in your mind or blame others for how you feel, you could benefit from learning how to shift your energy. You may obsess about why certain things happened in the past. You might feel anxiety about what could happen in the future. You may blame external factors, but utimately YOU are the one steering your energy. Sure negative events occur. People act in unfair ways. People will hurt you and drive you mad by their behavior, but again, YOU can choose whether to get consumed in that energy or not.

When you’re consumed in an energy you want to shift, try these techniques and see what works for you.

1. Write and Purge: Write down your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper and purge. After you write them down, read them aloud, and then throw them away- ridding yourself of that energy.

2. Be Mindful: Consciously bring your attention to your surroundings or close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Focus your mind on something other than your negative thoughts and energy.

3. Reframe: Change your self-talk and perspective. Tell yourself to stop and notice your thoughts. Recognize what triggered the thoughts in the first place. Ask yourself if the thoughts are true? Then create alternatives to replace your thoughts.

4. Self-Reflect: Ask yourself if your energy is helping you or hurting you? If it’s hurting you, recognize it and express the energy you’re feeling (“I’m pissed off!”) and then let it go.

5. Get Physical: Physical activity is great for shifting energy. Go for a walk or run, lift some weights, stretch, or do yoga to turn your energy around.

6. Distract: Find something to do that will distract you from your current thoughts and feelings. Try singing, reading a book, helping someone, or learning something new.

Think about the type of partner and stepmom you want to be. What kind of energy does she put off? Is she anxious and angry or is she calm and joyful?

Instead of being consumed in negative energy and thoughts, try shifting your energy around and remember you are the one in control.

Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.

Stepmom Meditation YouTube Video

Anna de Acosta​, from The Mindful Stepmom, and I discuss the benefits of meditation in stepmom life in our YouTube Video . Yes, I am an affiliate working with Anna which means I will receive credit for any sales made through my link, but I wouldn’t be willing to share a product with you that I didn’t believe in. I am not promoting this product because it will make me rich, but because I see how much this will help stepmoms in their role.
Use the link below and see how these Guided Stepmom Meditations can work for you.
Guided Meditations

Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.

Stepchat

Have you been craving support?

The stepmoms I interact with are looking for day to day support in their stepfamily role. When they get triggered and need someone to talk to. When they want to bounce an idea off of someone to see what they think. When they want to verify they aren’t crazy. When they feel all alone and are craving someone to talk to that understands. I created a way for stepmoms, stepdads, fathers, and stepchildren, to gain on-demand support…

Stepmom Warrior Lifeline: Stepchat.

Stepchat offers direct stepfamily coaching support via text message. It offers instantaneous support, connecting with someone who truly gets it.

The purpose of Stepchat is to give you on-demand support, strategies, and solutions.

Whether you’re feeling alone in your stepfamily, you’re in crisis, you’re more introverted, or just looking for support or connection, check out Stepchat for only $25/week.

Sign-up Now for Stepchat

Happy Stepfamily Day!

National Stepfamily Day was created by Christy Borgeld in 1997. Stepfamilies are now making up approximately one third of American families. The mission of Stepfamily Day is to “enhance our strong commitment to support the stepfamilies parenting our nation.”

Take some time to honor and celebrate your stepfamily!

Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.

Celebrate Love

Mindful Tool for You

Anxiety dominated my stepmom life until I discovered mindfulness and meditation. Then things changed. I recently discovered Anna de Acosta’s Guided Stepmom Meditations and I had to share them with you. These meditations can help you transform your stepmom life too. If you’re looking to decrease the negative feelings and create a more peaceful stepmom life I recommend you checking out her Guided Meditations.

 

Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.

Stepmom Warrior was nominated for The Sunshine Blogger Award

Stepmom Warrior was nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award, by Ali Wilks from Step by Step Mom.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given from bloggers to other bloggers who are creative, positive, and inspiring. I am in great company with the other nominees. I love how our blogging community is working to change the stigma of stepparenting, coparenting, and stepfamilies. Thank you for the honor Step by Step Mom!

11 Questions and Answers:

1. What inspired you to start writing in this area?

I was in need of a venue to express myself and my journey. I was also looking for other stepmoms to connect with. Little did I know that my blogging journey would evolve into so much more.

2. Who is your target audience for your blog?

Stepmoms and stepfamilies. I have also interacted with fathers looking to support their partners.

3. What is your number one stepfamily/blended family tip for your readers?

My number one tip would be to be a team with your partner. If you work as a team, communicate as a team, and problem solve as a team, you can get through anything.

4. What was the best piece of stepfamily advice YOU received?

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Stepmoms often try to fix or mediate a healthy relationship between their partners and the ex but this often blows up in their face creating more conflict. It is in the stepmoms best interest to avoid being mediator.

5. If you have an entire day to yourself, to do whatever you want, what are you doing?

I would wake up and have a cup of coffee, over looking the beach. Then I would attend a beach yoga class. After, I would hop on my motorcycle to have an adventure with my husband by my side on his bike. I would end the day by doing some type of creative craft or family game with my stepdaughters.

6. What was your first blog about? What was your most recent blog about?

My first blog was titled, “Date Night is a Must”. It’s about the necessity of date nights in your relationship and how valuable they are.

My most recent blog was about combating anxiety in stepfamily life and a few tips to do so.

7. Who inspires you in your life?

I gather inspiration from all over the place. My husband, family, friends, other stepmoms, clients, yoga teacher, the radio, and every day life.

8. What is the best thing about blogging to you?

Writing is therapeutic but the best thing about blogging is being able to connect to the amazing community of stepmoms all over the world.

9. What is your blogging routine? (When and where do you blog, do you blog on a schedule or whenever you’re are inspired, etc.?)

My blogging routine is when that moment of inspiration hits. I can’t force myself to write, it has to be a natural process for me.

10. Do you offer services along with your blogging?

I offer stepfamily lifeline services. There is nothing better than working with stepmoms and stepfamilies to improve their situations. I am an elementary education teacher as well, so I also offer the opportunity to work with children in stepfamilies as well.

11. What is on your blogging wish list? (What do you want to talk about next?)

My husband and I are trying to conceive, and I want to share my experience with adding an ours baby into our family.

Thank you so much Step by Step Mom for this honor. Thank you to all the other bloggers out there who are creating an amazing community of expertise and providing education and supports that are changing the way we grow our families!